Hint of Hustle with Heather Sager

Ditch the Ego: Stepping into a more confident you with Heather Block

February 13, 2020 Heather Sager Episode 25
Hint of Hustle with Heather Sager
Ditch the Ego: Stepping into a more confident you with Heather Block
Show Notes Transcript

A few weeks ago, I was chatting with my good friend about the ups and downs of being a strong, opinionated woman in business.

I knew I had to pull the curtain back and share it with you, so I’m bringing you a bonus episode with my friend, Heather Block.

And we’re skipping the small talk and getting straight to the good stuff. Touching on topics that many shy away from (like the fact that we have egos… and so do you). From confidence, self awareness to asking better questions and ditching the identify that’s holding you back, grab a latte and dive into my chat with Heather Block.

EPISODE  SHOW NOTES👇

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👋 CONNECT WITH HEATHER:

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If you’re loving this episode, please take a moment to rate & review the show. This helps me get this message to more people so they too can ditch the hustle 24/7 life.

Speaker 1:

You're listening to Finding Your It Factor Episode 25. That's right. We are 25 episodes old today and I could not think of a better way to celebrate than throwing you a bonus episode. Oh that's right, Friend. You have an extra episode today and I made it extra, extra special for you because I'm bringing in one of my good, good friends and having an open and honest conversation about confidence. Yeah, as entrepreneurs and even as ambitious driven women in business, it can be a little lonely. It can be overwhelming. And we all struggle with elements of imposter syndrome and especially as an assertive woman in business, it's hard to balance that line between when to hit the gas pedal or when to back up. And it just brings in this other element that it's just hard to navigate alone. So I was talking about the topic of confidence and impostor syndrome and so many other things with one of my good friends a few weeks ago and we started chatting and I thought, you know, I think this episode would be really relevant to my IF Factor audience. So here we are. I am so thrilled to introduce to you today. One of my good friends, a gal that I have worked with for a decade on so many different projects and she's here to bring I think a really amazing perspective and also share a little laundry and dirt about my past, which I, that'll be kind of fun for us, but let me tell you a little bit my guest today, her name is Heather Block. Yep. Her name is also Heather. We used to joke all the time that we call each other together, we're H squared because we're a powerhouse that we spent years together creating content for live events and online programs.

:

Now let me tell you a little bit about Heather and what she does today. So she's an expert content development professional and behavioral consultant. She knows her stuff and she works with so many entrepreneurs. She's helped build multiple corporate proprietary sales and team communications platforms. That's a mouthful, but she's built a lot of systems and platforms both in the process perspective but also things that have actually come out as technology tools and she specializes in learning development, leadership, and operations. Now over her career, Heather's done a lot of things. She's most known for her work with hundreds of entrepreneurs across the country through working with them on their teams for learning support, training programs and facilitating live events. Heather is one day I'm a good speaker and I can't wait for you to hear from her today. Right now in her current work, she contributes to an organization called the Cardone ventures, a joint partnership between Grant Cardone and Brandon Dawson and there, she's a speaker, content creator and operations support partner. So she has a wealth of knowledge above and beyond the fact that she's one of my good friends. She is wicked smart in business and I cannot wait for you to, to hear from her to get a sense of her personality and also for you to just hear true honest chitchat between two women in business with strong personalities who honestly have had a little bit of a rocky path. I'll leave you with that and we'll see on the other side.

Speaker 2:

Have you ever wondered how some people just seem to have a way with words? They have the spark that lights you up when you're near them. They have the It factor. And while most people think it's something that only a few are born with, I believe that you can find it so it can become your super power to grow your business. It's about you bringing your brand to life by becoming a magnetic communicator in person and on camera, showing up with confidence, authenticity, and inspiration. So are you ready to become magnetic? I thought so. I'm Heather Sager and I'd like to welcome you to Finding your It Factor.

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All right guys, welcome back to another episode. I have to tell you, I am super freaking excited today because I get to hang out with one of my girlfriends and bring you on on this conversation. Welcome officially the show, Heather Block. Thank you. I'm so stoked, Sager. I'm going to call you Sager, you know that right? Yeah, you can call me Sager. So you guys know, uh, Heather calls me Sager. We work together. I told you this before. We've worked together for a very long time. And I struggle because when Heather and I worked together, she went by Heather D as in the letter D like as in Dalmatian. So I've for years have called her HD and now I have to replace it with HB, Heather Block. So if we call each other weird names today, just welcome to our journey. That's a great way to describe it. Yeah, it's a journey.

Speaker 3:

A journey is a big one. So obviously we know each other well, but my audience, this might be a first time that they're getting to know you. So can you quickly or just first off, tell them a little bit about who you are and what you do today?

:

Yes. So Hey everyone, uh, Heather Block. So I currently work for Cardone Ventures and basically I am a learning and development expert and I get to do all things content development from a business perspective, a learning perspective. We help owners to understand how to scale businesses and lead their teams. Then we help those team members learn how to, how they can contribute at their highest level to helping the owners do the same thing and in the end all of them achieve their goals together. So I get the pleasure of helping build out all of the elements behind that content wise from event learning, to online learning, and even one on one coaching. So that is, right now it is everything I've ever wanted to do and specifically around behavioral coaching and all those elements and teamwork and team communication. That's, that's my gym and that's where I currently live every single day.

Speaker 3:

My gosh, it's a fun place to be. And you know, the interesting thing I love about how what we're going to cover today, what you're gonna bring in the conversation as you're working with business owners who have multimillion dollar businesses, you're working them with six figure businesses like it's over. There's a spectrum there. And what I think a lot of times so that the people listening to this podcast typically are solopreneurs or having smaller businesses scaling to six figures maybe beyond that. I think a lot of times people just dismiss the lessons learned and those bigger businesses going, it doesn't work for me, but everything we're going to talk about today works for both types of businesses.

Speaker 4:

Yeah. You're nailing it because those businesses had to start somewhere and they all started with where everyone probably listening today started. Right. So there's always the lessons we need to kind of do the work back. So Jim Collins for example, he talks about how uh, from a Walmart standpoint, he's this big mogul business. Well they started somewhere, you know, 40 years ago they started as a one off shop. And so it's good to go back and look at how did they start from where they started and end up where they are. I mean that's the best place to learn lessons from is the big, the big dogs cause they've done it all,right? So anyway, I digress. But that's, that's what I would add to that.

Speaker 3:

It's good. I think what it brings up is this idea that you can draw inspiration and you can learn from so many types of businesses outside of your industry. And I think if you're continually looking for ways to say, huh, how could that apply to me? How could that work for me? Which in essence is like the backbone of learning and development. I think that's something to bring into today's conversation. So, so let's go into how you got into this role. So maybe first, can you talk about what is Cardone Ventures and then how, how have you found yourself into this position?

Speaker 4:

Such great questions. All right. So Cardon Ventures is a business consulting and management company that helps businesses currently that are, that are going to be over that 2 million mark. This is our sweet spot that want to scale to 10 X levels, which is like into the 20 million or they're a$5 million business they want to scale the 50. And we do that through guidance advising through different business management, best practices, all stemming from the success of Brandon Dawson's career and what he's done over his tenure. Um, so we, we offer all of the services, uh, in the way of operations, expansion, planning, finance, uh, financial modeling through key performance indicators, sales and marketing strategies as well as, uh, what I love and I know what you love, which is people development. So, uh, everything from individual development all the way up through how to work as a team and aligned to the organization. So it's a really well rounded approach. And then people enter into our funnel and they come to events and they learn and they either take that home and they go implement on their own or they can work with us and we can help them take it to the next level. Um, and even up to the point where there's an, if there's an opportunity, we can partner with them. So there's three different ways that we work with all types of different businesses. Um, and so yeah, so how did I get there? How to get here actually I should say is Brandon Dawson. So you and I, we uh, started off a lot of our, our big journey. The last, gosh, it's been 11 years by the way, for me now it's been 10, you know, since we started working together. But back in 2009, it was interestingly enough, I was working for a printing company in the Pearl district in Portland, Oregon and the economy was taking a turn and print houses weren't doing barely well, so I was like, well, it's time for me to find something new. So back then, Craigslist was like the place to look for jobs. There was not what they have now. So found an ad on Craigslist or a professional development marketing coordinator. It was for this company called Audigy group up in Vancouver, Washington. I checked all the boxes on the resume, you know, basically went through the process of getting hired, came on board and they work with audiologists, basically what we do with Cardone Ventures, but on a just a little bit smaller scale. But all over the country they worked with helping audiologists and their practices grow. And so entered into that and then, uh, you know, over the years and you and I ended up working together and helping to, we actually partnered up in building out the departments and professional development and learning and events you know, took that into just this like wildly huge and successful venture right between us then. And so essentially along the way my main role was training and development. That's what they morphed into and doing that a lot of events as well as back home over the phone with a lot of our members across the country. But I learned in time that I was really great at content. I was great at understanding really big, complex ideas and finding a way to reduce them down to simple processes that I can in turn teach others how to implement. And with that I just, it was such a passion all of a sudden cause I just get it, you know, and when, when you get, when you realize you're good at something and it comes easy, it doesn't come easy to other people. It's kinda, it's kinda like this light bulb goes off or you're like, Oh, there's my superpower. Like, okay, now I get it. This is easy for me. And I'm, and my confidence really was built in that content development realm. And I leaned into it. So this was about, I don't know, seven years ago that I first had that realization leaned into it. And it has just propelled my career in ways that, you know, I create a very niche value. And um, luckily that opportunity is just continued to, to present itself. And now with Brandon, once he teamed up with Grant Cardone and that organization and created Cardone Ventures, the need was there right from the gecko. We had to first start off with what kind of content are we going to put out there and then how are we going to be presenting it and how are we going to do that from a live event standpoint as well as through an online standpoint and how are we going to create and monetize that. And then how are we going to scale it? And all that time over the last 11 years has just just basically built me up to this point where I was able to be an expert with that and Brandon brought me along and and now we are, we are gangbusters growing.

:

You guys totally are. I love following the journey online. My God. Okay. I wrote down something that you said because it was so good and I know for certain this is going to be a sound bite that we keep coming back to. You talked about this idea when you realize that you're good at something that others just don't get naturally. Like when you recognize that there's this light bulb thing that happens and when you lean into that skill or that superpower as you called it, it's incredible how everything that you've experienced in your life and in your career. This is going to sound a little like woo for a moment, but like everything else that's come before it, it just clicks and you go, huh, I realize why I've had these different experiences or why I've had these different jobs or positions or difficulties or whatever it looks like. You were like, ah, this is why and this is what I'm meant to do. And it's so funny because this skill that you have that so many people don't, it's this idea of taking content and especially like complex things like complex frameworks or complex teachings or like when you were talking about scaling and all these things, like most people like their eyes glaze over because they just don't get it. But you make it easy for people to understand. And that's a gift that a lot of people don't have. So I'm curious because you've recognized that as your gift and I can tell now that you own that gift. Like how has your confidence in being able to do what you do? How has that evolved over the years?

Speaker 4:

Hm. Well first of all thank you for saying what you just said cause it gives me goosebumps cause I really appreciate it coming from you and I love our relationship and I just want to say thank you. So now over the years, you know where my confidence comes from. It comes from embracing the suck and leaning into the struggle. In the moment where something feels so stinking hard and it feels like there's no way I can get through this. There's no way I'm going to get past it. Over the years I've learned that I'm going to cherish that moment because coming out the other side of it, I'm, number one, everything can be done. I'm going to get through it. Don't know how maybe in the moment, but I'm going to get through it then and then on the other side I'm going to get a step better. Like I'm stepping up my experience. I'm stepping up my problem solving because now I've gotten through this place I've never been before. I get, when I get to that point again, I can streamline how I get through it because ah, I've experienced this before. To me that's, that's how you gain experience. That's how things get easier, right? It's embracing the suck and I think they actually, that's something that you might've told me one time. I feel like that's something that Heather Sager would say. By the way, it's a brace to suck, just get into it, get through it. But um, but it's so true. And so my confidence then increases even when I'm in the moments where I feel the most vulnerable or I feel the most insecure, I just, I can, I can be self aware enough to say, okay, you're in this moment, you feel this way, but guess what? It's going to be fine. You're, number one, I always tell myself this, I always say, you're not going to die. You know what I mean? Like nobody else is going to die. Everything is going to be fine. The sun's going to rise tomorrow. And so it helps me to just, like I said, treasure the moment and treasure the struggle and, and embrace it. And with that, like I said, does come to confidence because I know I can get through it.

:

Yeah. That's so good. It's so good. And side note that quote, I don't know where it came from, embrace the suck, but I do know that Rachel Hollis now has that tattooed on her wrist. She does. Yeah, it does. And so I'm like, huh, I heard that from her. But I'm like, no. When we started talking about that was years ago, so maybe, maybe we were the original creators.

Speaker 4:

I'm just claiming that you know it's got to start somewhere,

Speaker 3:

You know? But it's okay. It's so funny. So for you and I we've had a long, we've had a long journey together. There have been lots of ups and downs. I want to get into some of those pieces today. But it's so funny because it's really easy to look back and reflect around like Oh of course the difficult situations we've gone through go ups and downs and now it's, we're much more well equipped to handle stressful, stressful situations. That's not always the case when you first encounter a difficult situation. So I'm curious thinking about for you that confidence, in, that confidence for having confidence that you're going to get through things like was that a natural thing for you or did that, how did that evolve over the years?

Speaker 4:

Man, no, not natural, not natural. Back in the day my self awareness was really, really low I think. I think self awareness has a lot to do with what you're asking. I think there's a common thread back then. I just, I just leaned into what I call living in my natural default setting, which is just this place where I subconsciously just like react in the moment. I think that I was the center of the universe and everything that was happening to me was to me and it was out of my control. Therefore I could sit back and say it wasn't fair. I can say that, you know, this moment, you know what really quote unquote, this wasn't fair. I said that a lot. This isn't fair. This isn't fair. You know? And that whole idea of life's not fair. Well the thing is is that you have control over that as long as you have high self-awareness. So over the years, like I had a lot of intentionality around trying, trying to figure out myself awareness and trying to figure out how to make it where I don't live in my natural default setting, which is such an easy place for everybody to operate because that's how we're born is to kind of think where the center of the universe and get to this place where I would in the moment realize that number one, things are not happening to me. Number two, I am not the center of the universe and number three, I have complete control over my reality by simply reacting or not reacting to what's happening. And I call it triggers because basically it's something will trigger you and it will slam you into this natural default setting. And it's typically a negative space that you go to of the victimization. This isn't fair. It's happening. Things are happening to me and in, and when you do that, you get a physical feeling like it's all back in our like caveman days of fight or flight where you're just like, you want to fight in that moment or you want to or you want to run, right? You get scared. And, um, when I get that physical feeling that I sometimes I can't even put words around, I now have the self-awareness where I, I trigger myself back and say, wait, if I'm feeling like this, first of all what's happening around me, how can I make this better? What can I be in control of? Is this really that bad? Is anyone dying? You know what I mean? Like I kind of go through this series of questions in my head that kind of get me back up to a place- You self coach. Yes. Yes. That's exactly what I do is I self coach myself and it's hard and I have to be really intentional about it. Um, but over the years as I've done that, I've gotten better and better to now where before I even go into a situation that I know is going to trigger me, I can prepare ahead of time. Like I know certain things are going to trigger me. Therefore my, I'm going to get my mindset in a place where I'm just not going to let it trigger me. I, I'm just, and if it starts to, I can quickly just say not going to go there. I get to choose how I experienced this moment and I choose not to let it shoot me into my natural default setting. And uh, and that, that's, that's where the confidence build came in. I thought hopefully I'm answering your question. You totally offered that.

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Yeah. Okay. Good. So cause that's where my confidence continues to build because I, the more I prepare, the better I am, which I know you and I have always been on the fly type team, right? Like we create amazing things on the fly and we have done some incredible stuff over the years. But boy was it exhaustive and did it hurt along the way? Um, and I would, and I would say that both of you and I remember now we've gotten to a space where it's like, can we just prepare? Can we just not make it hurts so much? Okay.

Speaker 3:

I'm having mental, I know this is, we're going to, okay. So I have to share a funny story. So I'm having this flashback of, I think it was like 2013. Heather and I are sitting on the floor of my hotel room at 2:30 in the morning. We had spent weeks working on the content where this live event. We have all of these amazing executives on the stage and I had to give my, I'll call this my first executive talk. Like I'd give it a lot of trainings before on our department, what we cover. But this was a different kind of talk. It was the talking about leadership and running a business and it was just, it had a higher stakes to it. And because we were so good at on the fly. We had saved my presentation to the end cause we had to figure out everyone else's and we were on the floor 2:30 in the morning creating this talk and Oh my gosh, like-

:

You knocked it out of the park. Like you killed it. II don't, I didn't sleep

Speaker 4:

I honestly can't, I can't figure out how we did that stuff back then. We didn't even drink that night.

Speaker 3:

I think we had some wine. There was probably wine, but I think, well I think what it comes down to is a over the years we developed processes for how we would create content and I see this, I think this is the mistake that a lot of people make when it comes to like the 11th hour content creation or waiting till the last minute to prepare for a presentation or writing a blog post or whatever else is. People think that, Oh my gosh, I'm just really good at the last minute thing and you are. But also you've built a process for yourself around how you organize your thoughts and how you put them into an outline and how just how you get it. Like there's a process there even though we don't recognize it. And a lot of people think that, Oh, I can only operate under that pressure. Well if you take a moment and actually backward like backup and I analyze what you do in that last like 11th hour crunch, there is a process there and you can train yourself to do things differently. But that is a painful thing to do.

Speaker 4:

Yes. Oh my gosh, it is. Well and, and, and I'll speak for myself right here, but maybe you can relate to this. I took pride in being able to tell people, yeah, I work well under pressure and procrast- I, you know, I can procrastinate just fine and I can get stuff done. And I checked like it's almost like this egotistical side of me that was like, Oh, I'm good at that. And what I've learned since then is I don't want to be that way because if I, if you think about it, if I'm on the other side of hearing somebody in front of me who is an expert tell me, you know, I'm really good at on the fly off the cuff, you know, preparing last minute I might think to myself. So you didn't put that much time, energy and effort into preparing something for me that I'm paying you money for. You know what I mean? Like that that kind of sense of, so for me I'm like, I know I've been since then I've been like, how can I arrive at a point? Because integrity is such a core value of mine. Like how do I arrive at a point where I'm, whenever I am in front of somebody and they are paying us for helping them to scale their lives, like build their businesses and provide build legacies, right? Like, how do I make sure that we have absolutely put as much intention, effort and energy into this, that we can stand confidently up in front of them and we, we know that we've done everything we can in this moment and then we pass it to them to then take it. It's like a, it's like a meet in the middle.

Speaker 3:

Well I love that. I think that's so important because I, I do think that people have different personalities when it comes, we're talking about content creation, but I think that's perfect for this audience. I think there are different sides of the fence that people sit on, people who like that would give them anxiety waiting to the last minute. And those of us who are like, Whoa, I'm on fire and I'm so good at, and it's, it's baked into our identity. I am definitely one of those people as are you. And so I had a, I had an interesting insight, a similar experience happened over the last two years when, okay. So actually I'll give a really specific example. So a couple of years ago when we were still at that other company. So I had this opportunity to take some of my content into a different, I don't think you and I talked about this project, so this will be new for you. I had the opportunity to present in another country in another language. So I had to teach a management course to a non-English-speaking group who they spoke a little bit of English. But what had to happen was I had to take my content and everything had to run through a translation company. So that way the materials and the PowerPoint and everything was in another language. So it like literally forced me to have all of my content, all of my scripting, everything done while in advance because we had to run through translation. And I was so annoyed by it because I had that identity, that badge of honor, that I am this magical unicorn that can just step on a stage and just light it up and it's so freaking good and I can do that. But what I learned in that situation is when I took the time to do that earlier, Oh my God, it was so much better than I could've ever imagined because I gave myself, it's like a bottle of wine, pour it out and let it breathe. And when you let it breathe, ohl my God, it like gets so much better and things develop more and you can land the analogies more like that damn wide one, which was just so good. But it's just when you wrap yourself in that identity and you won't let anything else prove to be right, like you're missing out. And so I think what this comes back to, which is like a perfect segueway, is one of the things that I think you and I relate to a lot on is ego and using ego as an excuse for different types of behaviors and limiting us in our careers, in our businesses. And you and I had had so many conversations around ego offline about this, but I want to go there a bit because I think ego in business, especially when you're pursuing really big goals and dreams, it can trip you up in a lot of ways. So let's, let's dive into that. I know you mentioned self-awareness was a big piece for you. Um, let me actually go first here because this I think is a really sensitive topic. Uh, so ego. So Heather and I both were in management positions at this old company and as strong, very vocal, very opinionated women. You can only tell where this is going. We butted heads a lot and I don't know what it is. This is talked about a lot, but women in competition with one another is one of those just crappy things that breeds a really difficult to thrive in environment. And I mean it, we had some shitty times together in terms of, and it was just all ego coming in. And the, one of the big reasons I wanted to have Heather on today is I think we're a really good example around how women and quote unquote competition can, I don't know, get over their ego and actually get on the other side of a really beautiful partnership. And Heather and I are really great friends. We talk on Marco Polo like constantly and it's a beautiful thing, but it wasn't always the case. And I wanted to bring this up today because I think a lot of times in online business we get caught up in feeling like other women online who have these perfect curated feeds and are having better messaging and having better success or they're, Oh crap, other people already doing what you're doing. And it's easy to get in competition with other people even when they don't realize that they're in competition with you. We built up this crazy story in our heads and our egos take over. So I want to chat a little bit about that. And Heather, maybe you can have some, cause you've, you've had your own experiences, but maybe you can give some recommendations and some insights around how to move past having ego and being aware of that happening. And how do you process that a bit?

Speaker 4:

Oh my gosh. Well thank you. First of all, thank you for sharing our, our journey because you nailed it. I mean it, it, you know, we, we basically bought into the competition in our environment. We bought into it. You and I chose to buy into that and, and it, yeah, we struggled through a lot and we grew from it and that's amazing. But I think the best part is where we, where we came to, which was empowering one another. Um, where, you know, we're, where I, my insight comes in is that you're right, it's so easy for women to look at other women and you compare yourselves and you're like, you know, I want that successor. We're in the same space. Um, but there's so much room for all of us to succeed. There are, I think this last couple of years I've, I've really taken a step back to look at outside of this little world that I existed there are, uh, that's like, that's like a tiny sliver of the pie. Such a small sliver like let's say 1% of 100% of the pie. Like, and maybe not even that, which means there's 99% of the pie out there. There's so much opportunity and, and like for example, you know, you doing what you're doing right now. It was like thinking of myself like how, how in the world can I think that I'm in competition with Heather when she brings so much value in so many other ways and so many other things to the table and I bring value and things to the table that, you know, that could compliment her and together we could actually be a, an unimaginable force. Right? And that goes for every woman out there, right? Like you can learn so much if you just take that ego, push it aside. The grass is not greener, like just water your grass, you know, just water your grass and say, how can I continue to just do this by learning how to better water my grass from all of the other people who have awesome grass. You know what I mean? And then that's just that. And that's a self awareness thing too, by the way, right? Because first of all, you have to be aware of your ego and ego is a, it's the thing that sends you to your default, that default thing I was talking about earlier, it's the negative place, right? Because it's the on the center of the universe, that's what your ego is. And it's just not, it's not helpful. It just, it just isn't helpful. And, um, and especially as you know, I know your listeners are both male and female, so, um, this is gonna probably resonate with the women more, but women we got to stick together, like, you know, we've got to empower one another and men out there who, you know, want to help support us. Like, let's do this together. There's, it should be gender neutral anyway. Like, if you got great ideas, let's all work together. Do you know what I mean? Um, I digressed by the way. I don't know where I was going with that one, but so big stage. Uh, but, basically with the ego thing, um, I, I think it's just, it's just really important to push it aside. And it does take a lot of intentionality. Like you have to literally say to yourself like, I'm not going to go there and I want to, I want to learn, like I said, and I want to figure out how to make my grass greener. Not necessarily just say, is my grass, that grass over there is so much better. Do you know what I mean? I mean, it's a real big, it's a really fine nuance or distinction that I'm talking about were do you just focus on your own.

Speaker 3:

It's a phrase that we use to you, I don't even remember when I started saying this phrase years ago, but it's this idea of confidence with humility. You have to have both. And I think it's especially important for women professional like ambitious women, women in business today is you can't not be humble and be confident then that's your ego talking. But when you are highly confident that what you have to offer, that there's a market for it, there's people who are listening for it that you're not worried about, Oh my gosh, other people are doing it. Like that's not confidence. You have to have confidence with humility and I think in humility is accepting that other people are going to do the same thing and have similar skills and that's great. You know it's funny, I, okay when I first, not when I first started my business, when I, when I finally declared out loud that I was going to focus on entrepreneurs, particularly entrepreneurs in the online space, like I was going to help them step out of their fear of speaking and start speaking on stages to grow their business. I was so excited. I'm like, Oh, I finally found my niche and kid you not that exact same week. I found so many people online that were doing the exact same thing that up until that point I literally could not find any quote unquote competition and I was deflated by, I was like, Oh my God, like this is the disaster. People are already doing it. What the hell am I doing? Who's going to listen to me? I've never worked it like all the stupid things right in my head and it's so ridiculous. That was 100% my ego talking and telling me like, Oh, I have to be the best. the go-to, the only one doing it and that's the only way people are going to believe in me, which is totally BS. Like I think it's so indicative of so many things, but like remembering the phrase that confidence with humility. If you don't have the humility, like you're not going to get anywhere in your career and your business for sure.

Speaker 4:

Nailed it. So, so, so nailed it, Heather. Like I, I think comments like that should be in a way I feel like that should be like a mantra. Like we need a whole, there's, there's so much to do around that to learn humility. I mean, this is where even like, you know, Renee Brown talks about leading with vulnerability. Um, I, that message just resonates with me because I, and I'm sure you can relate to this as well, it's like I get so much further with people when I am confident with either vulnerability or, or humility. When I say I don't know, I, but I'll find out. People absolutely appreciate that so much more than me lawfully saying something that I don't really know the answer to. And trying to spin it a little bit to like turn it into like a bigger word. It'll be fine. Let's go over here and deflect the flag, the flag when in essence this is like, you know, I'm not sure about that. I'll get back to you or I'll find out anyway. But that for somebody who has a big ego such as, I will just say myself, because I have to fight my ego every single freaking day. Thanks for letting me be born with an ego. Uh, but you know, I do have to fight it. But to say that and watch it just like completely move the conversation forward is just like, it's like this aha and then I have to just tell myself, just lean into it. Ego move over. It's just be okay.

Speaker 3:

Add humility and it's no longer an ego. It's confidence. And I think, I don't know, I think, I think this topic of declaring that we have egos is slightly a taboo thing. But I also think it's super real and honest because I think any ambitious career-driven female, probably men too, but it's screwed up for a second guys. It's conversation here like business owners, women with high like careers. There is an ego thing that happens there. And without self awareness and without humility, it is just that. And the ego is going to blind you from making smart decisions for your audience. So I think this is a big thing here that we all have to be really aware of of when we get into moments where we're terrified to do something or we're paralyzed and looking externally to make the right decisions for our business. Like you have to ask yourself the question, is my ego taking over or am I in a place where I'm actually asking questions, listening to my audience, doing the things that are in alignment with my brand and my intentions. Okay, that's now giving yourself confidence to make better decisions.

:

A 100% and you know, and then, and then let's go back to, let's also add to what you're saying with preparation because knowing that those moments are going to happen, be prepared in the moment. Like you just said, ask some questions, get asked. The quality of your questions will determine the quality of your outcomes. So, and that's a Brandon Dawson thing. I just want to throw that out there. Shout out that's his. But it's true because like what you just said about, you know in that moment asks them questions rather than just trying to keep continuing talking. That's like the ultimate humility, right? But it's also a very confident guiding directive to move the conversation forward in the way you want it to move forward. So it's a really good play. Also when you're in the business space, just be prepared to ask quality questions in a moment where you might not know what to say next. Start asking questions and then that will in turn lead you down the path you need to go.

Speaker 3:

This is a, okay, so this is actually a funny, embarrassing thing to admit for a moment. Uh, I used to have a really hard time asking those quality questions because my ego was so high. I thought I knew all the answers. So I honestly, I would Google before I would get into a room where I knew I needed to ask questions, I would Google like, what questions should you ask a mentor? Do you have the chance to get in a room with them? Like real stuff guys. Like it's the, your ego is that high and if you're thinking like, Oh I don't know what questions to ask. Ding, ding, ding, hello, your ego is high. So start thinking about are there, okay, so maybe plan for it. I got tactical here so if I go to a conference and I know there's going to be someone there that I want to learn from, I take 10 minutes on the airplane or on the car ride, whatever it is on the way there and think about this person's in front of me, what could I ask that I would love their insight on that is not something already in their free content. Like I don't care about the how to, I don't want to give them, here's my scenario. What would you do? Cause they don't have the context. Like what's an insightful question that you can ask that gets them thinking and let me give you an example. I'm going to go off the little little tangent here for a second, example of this. This last weekend I was in LA at Tyler McCall's online business accelerator and I went in with the same thing going, I know James Wedmore, Amy Porterfield, they're going to be there. And there's a Q&A. So I thought long and hard like, Oh my God, what questions could I ask? And I mean, no, no negativity. The other people in the audience, a lot of people were asking how to questions that were in their paid courses that we already had access to. So I asked the question, um, what, what was, I asked the question, what belief do you wish your students would let go of? That was the question I asked to James Wedmore, who also has some mantra, ask better questions to get better results or the quality of your life is dictated by the quality of your questions. So I'm like, I want to ask him a good question and kid you not. He drew that question out and it stumped him. He kept going over and over again. Oh my God, that's such a great question. And when I walked up to him in the meet and greet just to say hi. He pointed at me, motioned me to come over and said, I have to tell you your question was so good. Tell me who you are and what you do, and I was laughing. I was like, I didn't really think it was that profound, but it was because I wanted to ask better questions, so circling back this around to the audience, like if you struggle asking questions, don't feel guilty. If you need to have like a little question asking brainstorm session to plan in advance. Yes, it could help you in the moments that you need it. I'm actually just kind of curious because your head was nodding. Heather and I are on video and as I was talking about the little mini brainstorm and having high ego, have you experienced that too with the question asking piece?

Speaker 4:

Oh my gosh, I, yes. I 1000% struggle with, it's actually one of my growth areas right now is figuring out how to ask better questions because I love that we're talking about this then. Yes, 100% is because to your point, I, I was like, as you said, when you kicked off that you said that you always had the answers. Like I was like hashtag relatable how I have always been with my ego is I'm not really listening to somebody talk. I'm just waiting for my turn to talk and I'll find myself in these moments. And I still struggle with this where somebody is talking for a little bit and my brain is just going, going, going, going, going and I ha- and I'm like, Oh my God, wait, Heather, what did they just say? What would, what would they just say 10 seconds ago? Because you're thinking about something else. Get back, focus, focus, focus, listen. So that I can ask a question about that. Not just here's the next thing I want to talk about. And so, um, yes, the answer is yes to what you're saying and preparing questions. Like what, what, what resonates with me that you just said is in great, you ingratiated yourself to him and, and, and you know, and Amy like you studied their body of work, you understand what's out there and you took the opportunity that this really rare moment of attracting them into your sphere by asking them something that nobody else had. But that's to me that that is absolutely genius and that's how you attract those types of individuals. Obviously he pointed at you, he remembered you, he wanted to know what you did. That is like how you ingratiate someone. And so I could not agree more with that approach. And I think it's amazing that you just did that by the way.

:

Thank you. And I think it goes back to if you guys listened to the pitching episode that just came out here recently, one of the strategies I talked about was laying down the track and starting to build relationships with those influencers that you want to get on their podcast or get in their inner circles with. Side note, James Wedmore for me is one of those people. Amy Porterfield for me is one of those people. I have been slowly laying down the track over the last 12 months. That is another area that for me and I felt like I took a big step forward. Now six months from now, I don't think he's going to remember that, but still like small little moments as you're establishing relationships with key influencers to get into their circle. I mean good questions in a Q&A might make a difference. So true or even in their DMs on social media through those things. Totally. But I'm going to put this, this, this manifestation out right now. I do think in six months that he's going to remember it, Heather. I really do think that you made an impact and it will be something cause you can think about in your time, even though you've spoke to thousands of people, but there are probably a number, a handful of people that you remember over the years that came up to you and, and, and ingratiated you in some way, right? Like I, I'm going to put it out there. I think that you're going to be on a podcast in six months with James. And then and then it'll be an Amy Porterfield within a year. Yeah. There we go guys. Clarity first. I write in my start today journal every morning that I speak on Amy Porterfield stage. I'm a guest in online marketing made easy and so it's coming at me. Okay. We got to turn the tables back on you now girl. So, o kay. Knowing that a lot of my audience is starting to speak more in front of groups or they're thinking about it. I, you've been in front of a lot of groups over the years. I've teaching small workouts. You've been on stages with a thousand people like you have e xperience in front of groups and what I love is you have experienced explaining things that are complex or maybe not necessarily popular things t hat a re like the sexy topics that people want to learn, but you make them super fun. So I was hoping to go a little tangible since I had your brain here for a moment. Do you have some tips for, I wanted to kind of separate this out. Do you have some tips for people just getting started that might be a little scared to speak in front of a crowd and t hen I'm g oing t o reverse i t and say it. But what about those people who are like, H ey, I'm not scared. Like what are some pro tips to elevate?

Speaker 4:

So yeah, scared in front of a crowd. I will tell you, I still get a little nervous before I go up, even if I, I mean I do, I just, first of all, can we just normalize that, that it's absolutely normal. Um, and so there's a couple of, first of all, if you're really scared, the confidence comes from the preparation also. You know, this is where taking take your content. So my success comes, and maybe this is just how my brain works, is I compartmentalize things and I always put things in threes. It's easy to remember things in threes, right? So I always have, you know, the beginning, the middle, the end or the top three topics that I'm going to talk about or the top three takeaways. And I make sure that I'm always prepared to hit those. In the event that I kind of go off on a tangent or whatever, I can always wrap back to, okay, next time this is the next thing they talk about in the next thing. There's always three things that I prepare for. Um, and then also if I'm nervous before I'm going up there, I tell myself I'm an expert in this. You know, there's lots of different levels of expertise, but obviously like I'm going up there, I know my content, I'm good at this stuff, right? So the people in the audience, if I were to think about being in the audience, then listen to somebody I want to learn as an audience member. Therefore, if I'm now going to be the person providing the content, I want to teach them something. I want them to take something away, even if it's one thing and be valuable and, and I'm the expert so they, they want to learn from me. So I keep putting my mindset in a place where I'm like, they want to learn, therefore they're going to be totally into what you're saying. I have nothing to be nervous about. There's literally nothing to be nervous about it all. Right? And then of course I always start something off with humor. As soon as I get somebody to laugh, one person, it takes one person for me. But that's, that's like if I, if that's the DISC stuff, by the way, if anybody hears ever done personality tests, like DISC training, I'm what? I'm certified and I love it. That's my influencer that needs acceptance. As soon as I do, as soon as I feed her, I call her Irene. Irene gets a little bit, a little bit of goodness. All of a sudden, you know, now my Debbie driver can come out, I can get my three topics done and my stabilizer Sally can be like, we'll make it all feel good and then it ends up being a great talk. So that's, but I would say preparation is definitely key.

Speaker 3:

I totally agree with that. I think, I think preparation breeds confidence. Confidence, not only that, you're not going to freak out and put your pants on stage, but also confidence that your talk is going to do what you want it to do for people and also for your business if you're using, speaking as a strategy. Okay. So I love that. Do you have any little like, um, secret Ninja tips that you use to, uh, to, I don't know, engage with the audience or I've get people engaging with you.

Speaker 4:

Yeah. Uh, stories, uh, stories. And when I tell my story, I speak to like one person, like on one side. And then if I, if I do move a little bit over to the other side of the stage, I pick another person and I speak directly to them. And that's actually a trick I learned from and I think you know who I'm talking about, Paul Homily. Um, but uh, what storytelling I already knew cause you, you're so good at story telling and I've, we learned that over the years. But, but focusing on someone, there's something about having a one on one conversation. Even if there's a thousand people in the room, it, I'm talking about person number one, they see it and people can focus in on me and they don't feel uncomfortable because I'm like looking all around the room when it's happening. I would say that is such a Ninja trick. If I'm feeling like all of a sudden nervous in a moment or am I going off on a tangent on something, I will hone in on one person and start talking to them and it really just resets my confidence and I can and then I can stop and then pause and then move on. Yeah. You know that that's really the, which by the way, sorry to keep talking, but that's my second into trick is pausing like dramatic pause is great. It is. It is. And I'm not talking like a ten second dramatic pause, but I mean like just taking a breath and a couple of moments to have, it's okay to stop talking, reset and then keep going like just for yourself rather than trying to fill it with words. And I know you talk about filler words and things like that. Right. Anyway, I'm totally going off the tangent right now.

Speaker 3:

No, those are perfect. I love those. Those are, I think, I think it's sad. All those little things combined. I hear a lot from people. It's you can get a lot of tips and strategies all at one time and you can't apply everything, so I love that you gave us a little buffet of things that I think that's going to be super actionable. Somebody's gonna be like, Oh yeah, I contact, which by the way, like total Ninja trick, I think people are terrified of eye contact when they're on a stage or they're in front of a crew. It's the best, like best way to build connection and also make yourself go like, Oh, I'm talking to a person not to like a sea of people. Yes. I love that. I want to make sure I respect your time as we're here. So I have a couple little closing questions here that I like to ask everyone. So you ready for rapid fire round?

:

Yes. I'm getting my Debbie driver notes that I will succinctly answer your questions. Okay. Well this first one will be easy because I know if people are listening today, they might be really excited and interested to learn a little bit more about what you do and maybe follow Cardone Venture's journey also about your behavioral communication skills and the stuff that you teach. So where can people find and follow you?

Speaker 4:

So you can find me on Instagram. And by the way, do I say@heather__block. Um, I'm also on LinkedIn as Heather Block. Um, you can definitely find me there. And then going to cardoneventures.com. You can sign up for our, you can funnel into our webinars and from there you'll have the ability to interact. And if you get into working with us in our sphere, you can also go to a lot of the Grant Cardone stuff. Is, is also where I spend a lot of my time. So that's also where you can go. But, but anyone can reach out to me if they, if you have questions, especially around behavioral coaching and consulting and like the DISC training side of things and teamwork. It's just individual development as well. I actually really love individual development, figuring out where's your default setting, how do we get you out of it? Right? I call it the basement also.

:

So I love that. By the way you were going to, I'm going to have to have you up back because I do want to dive into DISC assessment, how you carry your message. So just like placeholder, we're going to have an encore session for Heather to come back and actually talk about DISC communication if that's cool with you. But yeah, I'm gonna link to your, like how to find you. A lot of the places that you just mentioned. Those will be in the episode notes. So just scroll down in people link, click on those. So for you, Heather, I'm curious, when you think about what you have in front of you right now, what's the one thing you are most excited about this year? Ooh. Oh, you said one thing. Oh, I know. Because people have a lot on their list. I want one thing.

Speaker 4:

All right. The one thing I'm most excited about is getting to lean. I, I'm going to build a ton of content around people development and um, on an individual level, on a team level, and to be able to have the exposure through Cardond Ventures to put the things that I'm passionate about out into the universe is just beyond inspiring for me. And it's going to happen big and fast and furious and it's going to be incredible. And so I feel like everything you and I talked about today has gotten me to a point over the past decade where I'm ready for this opportunity, ready to tackle it. And it's just going to be an incredible 2020. I'm so stoked for it.

:

I'm so excited to follow along because it's already been so fun watching you guys sat and just all the stuff that you've done this year so far. And like I said, a lot of the stuff we talked about today, yes, it's easy to be like, Oh my goodness, that's great for those big businesses. Everything we talked about today was like the inner game that all of us have to deal with. So if you found your mind floating a bit, you might want to rewind and go back and listen to it with a different, uh, maybe just a little different perspective. And again, how could this work for me? So lastly, Heather, I guess last two questions. The name of the show is Finding Your It Factor, which I always believe that when you rock your It Factor you become a magnet for your dream audience or dream customer. So for you, what does the It factor means? Now my Sally stabilizers out and like I'm getting all nervous and talk about myself, what just happened? See? Um, like, what's my It factor is, it's my ability to connect with somebody and help them see their potential. Like no doubt about it.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. And you're damn good at it. And so I think that leads into the whole focus of this discussion today was around getting like how your confidence impacts your success. And just as someone who's had the pleasure of sitting on the sidelines and watching your growth over the last 11 years, like we've had so much fun together. But I can directly see a relation or correlation between your confidence, your self confidence, and just what you've been able to accomplish. And it's been so fun to watch it and I feel so fortunate to not only work with you but also learn from you. You're incredible. And I'm so excited. My audience got a first pass of getting to know you further today. So thank you so much for being here. Do you have any final nuggets of wisdom you'd like to share with the IF Factors audience?

:

Well just Heather, thank you so much for having me on here. I think it's a really surreal moment and a demonstration of just how awesome of a growth pattern we've had and just be able to, to be here with you because we have so much in common and I'm so excited to watch you on this path and to help you in any way, shape or form, get what you are doing out into the world. And I think that everyone who's listening to this probably knows this as well, but you have so much amazing like contributions to provide everyone and you are doing a bang up amazing job. And it is, I just, this is mutual admiration time. I, I am constantly amazed at all the stuff that you put out as a solopreneur. I think you are absolutely killing it and I too have learned a ton from you over the years personally and professionally, not just professionally but very much personally. And I am just kind of having this surreal moment of just looking at us. They, the audience can't see our zoom call and CR, you know, us looking at one another. But this is actually a big moment for us. This is a defining time and this past year, um, I just really value so thank you so much for, for having me on and for us having this conversation. It means a lot.

Speaker 3:

Likewise, likewise. And you know, you just inspired me a bit. So full, raw, honest thought. I think a lot of people, when they get praise from another person, we have a tendency to get a little uncomfortable and be like, ah, shuck, stop it. Oh, I could just cut this part out. But no, I want to be an example to be like, it feels good and I appreciate that so much. And what I would really would like to encourage for, if you're still listening to this episode, which I know that you are because you're all listening to every single moment of these shows, but I want you to take what we talked about today in this idea of embracing competition and supporting other women and cheering them on that I want to encourage you, I've not only screenshot this episode, share it on Instagram, please tag Heather and I, but also can I give you a little encouragement today to find someone that maybe you've been watching for awhile and you know you've been creeping on, you've been creeping on their work, and you've been just kind of evaluating yourself against them. Get over that hump today. And why don't you actually just comment on their stuff and tell them what amazing work they're doing and try supporting and cheering them on and see what, what that brings you in terms of the gift of releasing that weird feeling that you have. It's really a beautiful thing when you start moving that insecurity into confidence, ensuring for other people, it pays back. So in that spirit, thank you so much for being here, Heather.

:

Absolutely. Thanks again for having me. All right guys, we will see you back for the next episode. Same time, same place next week. Bye

Speaker 2:

Guys, thanks so much for listening to Finding Your It Factor and hey, if you have a talk coming up, you have to check out my free resource. It's called Nail Your Next Talk. 10 must ask questions before taking the stage so you can show up as an authority and turn that talk into future business. These are the questions that I use myself to prepare for my life talks and they're going to help you ask the right questions of the person who booked you for the event. So the meeting planner or the client, and it's going to help you serve your audience to the best way possible. It's g oing t o help you anticipate potential tech or 80 snags. Turn the Q&A time into a strategic place for content and make this speaking opportunity, a lead generator for your business. So go get it now. What are you waiting for? It's over at heathersager. c om/10questions